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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can get us: an opening. I know not all people likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to honor her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their friendship?